Yesterday I read for the n-th time the site chucknorrisfacts.com, and I decided it would be a nice joke to make a dota version of them, with vigoss as main hero. Some are a direct translation of Chuck Norris facts, others are made up. I hope you'll enjoy them and get a good laugh.

Vigoss does not heal at the fountain. He waits.
Vigoss can play a 60 minutes game for 20.
When MYM|H4nn1- goes to sleep, he checks for Vigoss in the closet.
When SK watched one of Vigoss' replays, they decided to forfeit just to be on the safe side.
It is rumoured that Vigoss is very strong 1v1. Unfortunately, there are no survivors to confirm this.
Once, scientists made a study on the main causes for suicides among gamers. The results were: 1. Mom and dad punished their child not to play WoW one month. 2. Playing more than one game against Vigoss. 3. My teammates were noobs!
If, by some paradox of time and space, Vigoss plays against himself, Vigoss will win. Period.
If you have 1000 gold and Vigoss has 1000 gold, he has more gold than you.
Vigoss does not kill Roshan. He just stares him to death, breaks the Aegis because he doesn't need it, and gives the cheese to the enemy. After all, it's always more fun if they die slower.
You don't gang Vigoss. You just give him more gold from hero kills.
Vigoss can dodge Chain Lightning. Without moving.
LightOfHeaven is just another account of Vigoss - he uses it for casual, relax games.
Once, SK.Loda decided to play 1v1 against Vigoss. It took him only three weeks to get a hold on himself and stop crying.
Ice Frog made a special, customized version of dota especially for Vigoss. In the menu, he replaced "stop", "attack", "move" and "patrol" with "kill", "farm", "help teammates" and "destroy base".
Sometimes, Vigoss allows the enemy players to kill him, just to give them some hope. Unfortunately, it never works.
In one of these instances, when he decided to let the enemy team kill him, he had to chase all five of them to their fountain. It became a real problem, when the fountain was so scared that it forgot to attack. When they saw this, they forfeited the game.
Once, Vigoss sent an illusion to scout the enemy base. It almost destroyed the World Tree.
Vigoss can hook himself with Butcher - from maximum range. In fog of war.
Vigoss doesn't have to lasthit creeps. They die out of sheer respect.
According to legend, once the world's strongest players challenged Vigoss to play against them, controlling five different heroes on his own. He never did it again, claiming that it was too easy.
Never, ever, watch replays from Vigoss - you can't do what he does.
If you leave from a game against Vigoss, you are not a leaver. It's just common sense.
Vigoss does not get stunned. The stun gets Vigossed.
Once, Vigoss decided to play in the finals of MYM Prime defending blindfolded. He made only three triple kills. Later on, people accused him of using headphones. He apologized.
If Vigoss had a little sister, she would be better at dota than you are.
Vigoss isn't God, but God isn't Vigoss either.

p.s. this was written only for fun, and I had no intention of questioning anyone's skills. Please do not take it seriously.

Age?

boring?

Vigoss can maim with yasha.
When you click on Vigoss to see his inventory, fatal error occurs.
Vigoss doesn't need the map version when he sees replays because replays see Vigoss.
Some days ago ARS-ART said to Vigoss: "Dude i think you need to...". The same minute, ARS-ART moved to SK.
Vigoss can see the chat of the opponents.
Vigoss doesn't need mana.
Vigoss can blink in fog of war.
When the allies of Vigoss kill Roshan, he doesn't drop cheese. It's automatically transfered to Vigoss's secret inventory slot.
When Vigoss picks up rune, it lasts for the whole game.
Vigoss doesn't need warcraft to play dota.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH nice one, really enjoyed it.

well i`m gona give one.

Vigoss killed the fountain just by approaching it.

Ahahha. Vigoss can maim with yasha))

rofl post this on d-a forums ang give link

You really like this long threads.....every time same xD

True. Maybe next time I should post a one-word "hi" topic just to make you happy
No.47, where exactly should I post this? I didn't catch your meaning. If you wanna post it somewhere, feel free to do so.

Funny, most of them at least.

Yea thanks man,I wll copy/paste em in general disscusion
Hope they dont consider it as a spam thread : <

>>  http://forums.dota-allstars.com/ ... p;st=0#entry2695257

Nice one guys ... I really laugh a lot

GG.Assakura... my asslicker

When Vigoss buys Kelen's, it's not Dagger of Escape - it's Dagger of Attack.
Vigoss plays Butcher with Basher and owns MYM players. (fact!)
In the morning, Vigoss gets up, eats breakfast, wins MYM Prime Defending and a couple of other tournaments, then he goes for a walk in the park.
Once upon a time, Vigoss made Burize and MKB with Zeus and the enemy players laughed at him. They stopped laughing when he began to crit them.
Originally, the item Aegis of the Immortal was named Aegis of the Vigoss. They decided it would be too imba, nerfed it and changed the name.
Rumour has it that Vigoss has a microchip in his brain, which allows him to give telepathic commands to his PC.
When they asked Vigoss about these rumours, he laughed and said "I don't need a microchip to do this."
Vigoss receives money from  leading hardware companies, as he is the second main cause for damaged keyboards after spilled coffee.
Vigoss can kill a dead hero.
Vigoss is so fast, he can run around the whole map and hit himself in the back.

Vigoss is so good that his skill often causes paradoxes, leaving scientists baffled. Because of this, they created a special branch of physics, called "Vigossdynamics". We already wrote some of its principles, here are the others:

Vigoss, multiplied by time, equals destruction.
Vigoss, divided by games played, equals N gallons of gamer tears.
The fabric of the time-space continuum can only sustain one Vigoss (barely).
Vigoss, multiplied by zero, equals Vigoss, because nothing can nerf Vigoss.
Vigoss, multiplied by infinity, equals Vigoss, because nothing is bigger than Vigoss.
The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. However, if Vigoss is one of the parts, he is greater than the whole.
The damage, dealt by Vigoss in a battle, amounts to infinity plus one.
According to Newton's Law, every action has an equal by strength and opposite by direction reaction. Vigoss proved this wrong, because when he attacks someone, there is never a reaction. Dead heroes don't react.
Vigoss can divide by zero.
Vigoss has counted to infinity - twice.

[ Last edited by  Bz-Bars at 2008-3-6 03:29 PM ]

I really laugh a lot:
so funy

Nice thread Barzzzzzz.Really enjoyed it.

haha    

The bible was originaly intitulated "vigoss and friends(virtus.pro)".

Never expected less from u Barz , imba as always

Laughed like hell for this one > When MYM|H4nn1- goes to sleep, he checks for Vigoss in the closet.

EDIT : Vigoss, multiplied by zero, equals Vigoss, because nothing can nerf Vigoss. ROFL

[ Last edited by  Stoitchk0v at 2008-3-8 11:42 AM ]

<3 Stoichkov

Two funny facts, written by other users in the copy-pasted topic in dota-allstars.com:

Once, Vigoss Sundered Roshan... and became Roshan himself.
Vigoss can't make Divine Rapier, because it would be a blasphemy. Nothing is more divine than Vigoss.